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Connecting During the Shutdown

ron and catherine tijerina blog connecting while in lockdown

Quarantined life is much different than my regular life

I am still adjusting to my new, I hope temporary, lifestyle. Part of me is enjoying the slower pace of life.  I have more time for laundry, cooking, phone calls to connect with loved ones and to invest in the things that are most important to me. 

The other part of me is wrestling with being unsettled as I work through my feelings of grief.  I grieve for the families who have lost loved ones, but I also mourn the loss of life as I knew it.  I wonder what the days and weeks ahead will bring, and then I force my thoughts back to today and the challenges I will face in the next 24 hours.  It is a constant battle.  I know you are facing the same challenges every day.  Grief is mixed with hope as we face the future.

You must have a plan for your family to thrive during this uncertainty. 

While your visits are suspended, you must be even more intentional about staying connected.  The time without face to face visits can take a massive toll on the emotional, mental, and spiritual health of your husband as well as you and your children.  No one is denying that this is a terrifying season.  The Attorney General announced that the coming week was going to include some of the most difficult days we have ever faced.  To protect your family, you must do everything in your power to protect them.  Staying home is not comfortable, but you must take extraordinary precautions right now.

overcome covid-19 as a family

This challenge also contains an opportunity to invest deeply in your relationship.  

Here are ways to stay connected to your husband despite losing your time together.  Remember, this is temporary.  So, you must do your best to make the most of the time.  Finding ways to connect to your husband right now will also help you get through the long days apart.  Here are some ideas of things you can do right now:


  1. Write a love note to your husband (send it via mail or institutional email)
  2. Play “Would You Rather” every time you communicate.  Take turns coming up with questions about “Would you Rather…”  Not only will this bring some laughter into your day, but it will also help you get to know more about each other.  (Samples: Would you Rather…….Wear high heels in a 5k race, or flippers to the mall?; Eat pickled pigs feet or drink ditch water?; Sing in a grocery store or Skip all day at work?; Get caught picking your nose, or find out that I was using your toothbrush to clean the toilet?)
  3. Dream together.  Start making plans for what you will do together.  Even if he is years away from his out date, it is never too soon to plan for your future.  You should both be doing something every day to make your dream come true.  Start a business, write a book, plan a trip, there are SOOOOO many things you can do together, even while you are apart.
  4. Start a prayer chain together.  Each of you can ask your friends to join.  You will have people on the inside and the outside praying for each other.  This is a powerful way to stay connected and to contribute to life around you during this very stressful time.
  5. Journal your experiences and ask him to journal his. Send the updates to each other at the end of every week.  This is a beautiful way to really connect your experiences and navigate through this as a team.
  6. Share jokes with each other.  Look up silly, funny jokes to share with him.  No matter how corny, your fun will put a smile on his face.  An added benefit is that he will share the jokes with others inside the walls and bring a little joy into others’ lives, too.

These are just a few ways to connect to your loved one despite the lockdown.  Get creative and find new ways to laugh together and share this experience.

I am rooting for you!