Let’s face a simple truth, dating can be challenging. You never know what you might get out of a date. Sometimes they go really well and other times they can go very poorly. It can be tough to put yourself out there, especially when you can’t always tell if someone is being genuine or not. We all want to find a good partner, but how can we make sure we’re dating someone that is good for us? The answer: red flags. Red flags are warning signs that show the underlying truths about someone. You don’t want to go red flag hunting, but it’s an important thing to keep an eye on while dating. So, what are the red flags of dating that you should be looking out for?
Red flag #1: Initiative
Do you ever find yourself being the only one pushing for plans? Does it feel like you’re constantly asking your partner to do something? This is a red flag. Not wanting to take the initiative when it comes to reaching out for plans can mean a lack of interest. Don’t let yourself carry all this weight, check to make sure there is a healthy balance of desire to spend time together.
Red flag #2: Apologizing
This is one of the biggest red flags on this list. Arguments are bound to happen in any relationship. There is nothing wrong with that. What is wrong is if your partner can’t apologize. Sometimes this can be easily pointed out, other times they can disguise by always playing the victim or always making everything your fault. Don’t let yourself fall into this trap. Make sure your partner is capable of saying when they’re wrong.
Red flag #3: Double standards
There is a simple way to identify if your partner is using double standards. If you want to see if this red flag applies to you, ask yourself this simple question, “Do they ask me to do things that they don’t do themselves?” A classic example of this can be asking you not to go out to a party but expect you let them to stay out late with their friends. Another example could be expecting you to pay for something when they never pay for anything. Make sure your partner doesn’t ask you to do anything they wouldn’t do themselves.
Red flag #4: Controlling
Sometimes this red flag is similar to the double standards one, but it’s a major red flag to identify. Being controlling can come in many forms. Look out for your partner telling you who you can and can’t hang out with, what you can post on your social media accounts, where you’re allowed to go, and so on. You’re your own person. No matter how much you may love someone, your life is not theirs to make these kinds of decisions for. It’s good to identify this red flag early on because it will only get worse as time goes on.
Red flag #5: Jealousy
Jealousy may not always appear as a red flag, but it is and it works in two ways. Both by being jealous and trying to make you jealous. If your partner gets upset and jealous when you hang out with your friends, this is a red flag. If your partner intentionally flirts with other people in front of you just to get a reaction out of you, this is a red flag. Some people think jealousy is cute or a sign that they care about you, but the truth is that it is quite toxic for relationships. Your relationship should be built on trust, not jealousy.
Red flag #6: Compromising
This one is similar to apologizing. Your partner needs to be capable of not only apologizing but compromising too. Differences in opinions and arguments are bound to happen, but it’s how you and your partner resolve them that really matters. In any relationship, you need to know how to compromise. You can see this is both little and large conflicts. It may be something like where to eat or what to do for the day. It can also be something larger like where to live or what to do with certain finances. No matter what way you spin it, being unable to compromise with your partner is a red flag.
Red flag # 7: Making time
When you try to make plans with your partner, does it seem like they always have an excuse for why they can’t? Are they constantly telling you that they’re just too busy? Chalk it up as a red flag. We all will have times where we feel like we have a lot on our plate. We all face times of being busy. That’s not an excuse to not spend time with your partner. Making time for your partner shows them that you can and that they are important to you. Nobody wants to feel unimportant in a relationship. You can’t always feel like something else is being placed above you. Your partner can and should make time for you. Keep an eye on this red flag, as it usually is a sign of someone who will lie often.
Red flags aren’t always the same for everyone. A lot of it is based on what you’re looking for and what you want out of a relationship. The examples above are just a few universal red flags that you should be on the lookout for. Take some time and figured out what it is you want. This will help you evaluate your relationship for red flags.