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Three Things that Keep you from Healing – FEAR

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Do you ever feel "stuck"?

Hello Friends!  I want to talk to you about healing.  I am talking about totally overcoming all the pain in your life, becoming better and not bitter, and letting your past qualify for your future success.  I mean moving beyond the pain and disappointment to a place where you no longer disqualify yourself.

Do you ever feel “stuck”?  You want to move forward, but you just can’t seem to make yourself take a step in the right direction.  You are probably stuck somewhere in the cycle of self-destruction.  You don’t know how to get out and you are not even sure why you can’t move.  I can help you figure out what is holding you back.  There are three major things that keep you from healing:  Fear, Anxiety, and Denial.

What Keeps Us From Healing...

Freeze, Flight, Flee

Today, I want to talk about Fear.  Fear is an ugly, but very powerful force that can keep us from healing.  It latches onto our hearts and minds and feeds us lies about who we are and what we are capable of.  If fear has its way, we will never accomplish anything worth mentioning in our lives.  Fear causes us to freeze, fight, or flee.  None of those produce healthy outcomes.

When we are not healthy, we do not manage fear well. Either everything becomes a confrontation because we are afraid of being seen as weak and vulnerable, or else we freeze or run from confrontation and then experience self-loathing because we didn’t even try.  Neither of those will get you the outcome you want.

Face Everything And Recover!

A friend once told us to Face Everything And Recover.  Powerful words that helped us to change our lives.  In other words, face the truth, deal with the truth and then you will experience healing.  I can tell you it really works!

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When you can stop fighting, running, or standing still in shock and face the pain of your experience (whatever that might be), you can take authority over it.  You can own your story, and your past no longer owns you.  If you are battling with pain from the past, you know what I mean.  You are trying to stuff it down and keep it nice and tidy in the past. You have never dealt with it, and yet it is influencing the way you think and clouding the decisions you are making.  You must recognize your past pain.

"When You Stop Letting Fear Dictate Your Story, You Can Take Control and Change Your Legacy"

I am talking about both the things that happened to you through no fault of your own, as well as the choices you made that brought consequences you never thought about.  When you stop letting fear dictate your story, you can take control and change your legacy.

Traits of Fear

If you are not sure if it is fear that is holding you back, consider these traits of fear:

  1. Do you talk yourself out of doing something different because you think you might not be able to do it?
  2. Do you procrastinate?
  3. Do you feel inadequate every time you consider doing something new so you settle for mediocre?
  4. Do you focus more on what is going wrong (or could go wrong) than what is going right (or could be beneficial)?
  5. Do you get angry when you someone challenges you to learn something new?

These are just a few of the signs that we have observed when someone is living in fear.  If you are tired of being afraid, there are some things that you can do to self-regulate and conquer your fear.

Hand-Picked Related Content: 4 Simple Steps to Conquer Your Fears

Facing your biggest fears is never easy, but there are a few true methods to help you through. Today, I’ll cover four ways to look your fears in the eye and forge ahead.

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overcoming fear

"What Am I Afraid Of?"

First, be aware of what you are feeling and say it out loud. “ I am afraid.” Then, ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?”  This will help you put your fears into perspective. This also helps you decide if your fear is rational, or irrational.  Are you afraid of losing your children, your family, what people will say, getting hurt, etc.?  Know what is feeding the fear.

Once you have identified your feelings of fear, stop and breathe.  You do not have to act right away.  You can take the time you need to calm yourself down so you can make a logical decision about what to do. Do not let fear dictate your actions.  Take back control so you can weigh out your options.

Think your decision through.  Now that you are calm and can think clearly, make a list of the reasons why you should or should not do something.  Look at the reasons to NOT act.  Are they real reasons to not do this?  If not, develop your plan to move forward.

Finally, talk to someone about your battle with fear.  This can be intimidating, I know.  I remember when I told Ron I was afraid to drive far from home.  I thought he would lose respect for me.  But he didn’t!  He helped me manage my fears and learn to overcome them.  I drive everywhere now!  Your confidant can be a friend, your partner, or a professional.  If you are really struggling and cannot seem to get your feet under you even after multiple attempts to face your fears, seek out a professional counselor who can help you.

"You Have The Power to Put Fear In Its Place"

If I can do this, You can do this.  Fear doesn’t have to stop you from reaching your dreams.  It shouldn’t!  You have the power to put it in its place and make your own decisions.  You will experience such freedom and healing when you overcome fear.

I am rooting for you!