I will never forget the feelings I had when Ron was taken to prison. Fear, anxiety, and sadness overwhelmed me, threatening to engulf any rational thoughts. I had to learn a whole new way of life that revolved around setting aside time for Ron. So many details had to be managed. The endless stream of unanswered questions — scheduling visits & waiting for approval, establishing communication frequency, food availability restrictions, payment systems, and visitation guidelines — added to the overwhelming burden. The relief of figuring all of that out helped us to settle into a routine which offered a little comfort during the difficulties of Ron’s imprisonment.
Then, I got a call from Ron, “I am being moved to a new facility.” Those words hurled me back to the very day he was first taken into custody. The same feelings surged through me as all of the questions reset to being unanswered once again. The boys and I struggled to find the safety that routine and familiar faces had provided once we had adjusted to the current facility. Now, we were faced with another huge shift in our family time and the processes of getting to be together. It was so STRESSFUL!!
Thankfully, most of the moves were to better facilities and after the adjustment period, things were better for both us and for Ron. After the strain of the transition was over, we were grateful for the change that moved us one step closer to his release.
If you are facing news of your loved one being moved to a new facility, you will most likely be navigating through a variety of feelings such as:
- Anxiety: You will probably feel anxious about the safety and well-being of your loved one in the new environment, especially if you’ve heard negative things about the new prison or if it’s far from their current location.
- Sadness: You may feel sad as the move will remind you of your lack of control over your situation and the separation from your loved one.
- Worried: It is completely natural to feel concerned about how the move will impact your relationship, budget, and experience for both your partner and your loved ones visiting the prison.
- Relief: If the new prison offers better conditions or opportunities for your loved one, you might feel relieved that he’s getting a fresh start.
- Frustration: Feeling frustrated with the justice system or the circumstances that led to the move is very common; especially if the reasons for the move seem unfair or unjust.
- Hope: You might feel hopeful that the move will lead to positive changes for your family, such as access to better programs or closer proximity to family visits.
- Loneliness: The prospect of your loved one being further away could intensify feelings of loneliness and isolation, especially if you won’t be able to continue regular visits for emotional support due to distance or different rules at the new location.
- Determination: You may feel even more determined to support your loved one through the transition and make the best of the situation, even if it’s challenging.
Overall, emotions surrounding your husband’s move to a new prison can be incredibly emotional and challenging. This transition in your family’s life is influenced by a range of factors including your relationship status, the conditions and opportunities in the new prison, and your coping mechanisms.
Since this transition can be incredibly difficult for both you and your loved ones, it is vital that you find ways to navigate this turbulent time. Here are some actions you can take to minimize the stress for you and your family:
1. Stay Connected: Maintain open lines of communication with your husband as much as possible. Send letters, set up regular times for phone calls, and visit him when you can. Knowing that you’re there for him can provide a great deal of comfort to him during this difficult period and provide feedback to you so you can rest assured that he is adjusting well.
2. Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family members, or support groups who have experience dealing with similar situations. Sharing your feelings and experiences with others who understand can provide emotional support and practical advice.
3. Take Care of Yourself: It’s crucial to prioritize your own well-being during this stressful time. Make sure you’re eating healthy, getting enough rest, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
4. Stay Informed: Familiarize yourself with the rules and regulations of the new prison facility, as well as any resources or support services available to both inmates and their families. Knowing what to expect can help alleviate some of the uncertainty and anxiety.
5. Keep Perspective: Remember that this situation is temporary, and while it may be challenging, it’s important to focus on the future and maintain hope for better days ahead.
6. Consider Professional Help: If you find yourself struggling to cope with the stress and emotions surrounding your husband’s relocation, don’t hesitate to seek support from a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and assistance.
7. Legal Assistance: Depending on the circumstances of your husband’s move, it may be helpful to consult with a legal professional to ensure that his rights are being upheld and to explore any potential avenues for appeal or advocacy.
8. Stay Positive: Try to maintain a positive outlook and remind yourself that you and your husband are resilient and capable of overcoming this challenge together.
9. Plan for the Future: Use this time to discuss plans and goals for the future with your husband. Having a sense of purpose and direction can help maintain morale and strengthen your bond as a couple.
10. Advocate for Change: If you encounter systemic issues or injustices within the prison system, consider advocating for reform through legislative channels.
Remember, you’re not alone in facing these difficulties, and there are resources and support networks available to help you navigate this challenging time. Take things one day at a time, and don’t hesitate to reach out for help when you need it.
I am rooting for you!
Cathy