Can a marriage survive jail? What a loaded question!
When your spouse goes to jail it is by far one of the most difficult challenges for any marriage or relationship. Chances are that your relationship was not terrific before he went to prison/jail. Now, you are left with all the hurt and unresolved issues- out here in society dealing with everything on your own. Having a spouse in jail opens you and your family up to more pain. So, I am going to ask you a question, “do you WANT your marriage to survive jail?”
When your husband goes to prison, he takes your family reputation with him.
Whatever your struggles were before he went to jail just multiplied. Now, you have all of those PLUS the labels that come from breaking the law and going to jail. After all, families are torn apart by far less every day. Jail or prison changes everything about your family.
I discovered what makes a family thrive
I have watched too many families fall apart because prison became the tipping point- the straw that broke the relationship for good. I have also seen many families thrive during a prison experience and become stronger, healthier and more resilient. I discovered that what makes a family thrive instead of die is a desire to survive. If you have the desire to make it, then your marriage can survive jail. It won’t be easy, but it will be so worth it.
Deciding what you want is the biggest step.
Once you decide that you want your family to stay together, the rest of the journey is made through a lot of little steps. There is not a single big thing you must do to make it, but there are daily decisions and actions you will need to take for your marriage to make it. I have seen couples on the verge of divorce experience prison and come out with a stronger, more vibrant relationship. After spending 15 years visiting my husband in prison, I promise you; it surely can be done!
There are a few definitive decisions you will need to make and live by.
Here is how you can save your marriage in spite of jail or prison. First, be faithful. In every way. This means sexually, emotionally, verbally, and mentally. You will surely need to practice honoring your husband by the way you speak of him and to him; avoid dwelling on the past issues, and abstain from physical or emotional involvement with another man. Again, committing to faithfulness is a huge part of making your marriage work.
In addition to being faithful, you and your spouse must decide that you will invest time and energy into your marriage. I have several blogs on how to make the most of visits, calls, and letters so your relationship grows – check them out for a ton of practical tips to make the best out of this horrible situation. Work together as a team to overcome every obstacle your family faces. Agree to work through every issue together with a common goal of building a life time together.
Yes, your marriage can survive jail. It can thrive in sprite of jail. You decide your future and your actions set the course for your family stability. I know how hard it is, but if I can do it, you can do it!
I am rooting for you!
Cathy