Ever notice how hard it is to talk when you’re angry?
It is easy to shut down and say nothing—and it is easy to yell. But talking calmly is the furthest thing from your mind in that moment. Anger has a way of robbing us of our self-control, dignity, and character if we are not on our guard. But it doesn’t have to rule your actions. There are specific steps you can take to manage your anger and communicate effectively even when you are mad.
Angry Words and actions erode
Think of the last time you were angry with your husband or children. How did your conversation go? Did it bring you closer together as a family? Maybe you said some things you regret because anger got the best of you. You cannot change what you used to do, but you can change what you will do. Managing your anger so you can communicate with your family in a healthy way is so important. You are building trust, safety, and respect in your family. Angry words and actions will erode everything you have been working toward!
There are just a few simple steps to communicating calmly when you are angry.
1 - First, breathe.
Now keep on taking deep, cleansing breaths until you have calmed down.
2 - Change positions if at all possible.
Stand up, walk, or sit down—shifting your body will help you shift your thoughts to thinking rather than reaction.
3 - Next, ask yourself the WHY questions.
Why am I so upset? Do I know you I reacted that way? Why did that action or those words make me so angry? Why do I want to manage my anger?
4 - Share your feelings of anger and your “why” in a calm tone
5 - Talk with the other involved, not just “to” them.
These 5 simple steps will help you to be able to communicate effectively, and honorably even when you are angry. Anger is an emotion that triggers a strong response. Learning to control your responses is a sign of maturity and care. Your reputation is on the line every time someone watches how you respond when you are angry. Set the right tone by consistently following these tips.
I am rooting for you!
Cathy