Simple things you can do to protect yourself and your marriage
There is nothing that will test your level of commitment to each other like a prison sentence. Your entire marriage and relationship has changed. Living our your commitment to each other by being faithful is one of the biggest challenges women face when their partner goes to prison. But, it doesn’t have to be!
There are simple things you can do to protect yourself and your marriage. These things will keep you focused on building strength in you, your partner, and your relationship. You will discover that staying faithful is so much easier than you ever thought—even if your husband is serving years in prison.
I am beyond grateful that I never cheated on Ron.
I watch how complicated it has made the journey for so many other couples. My faith in Chris was the source of my convictions and my strength. I was recently asked if I thought people who did not share my beliefs could/should also remain faithful sexually or if it was just my own faith that caused me to personally be faithful. I told her what I am about to tell you; yes, you need to remain faithful if you want to have a healthy relationship.
There are so many reasons to remain faithful while your husband is in prison. Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health are all affected by unfaithfulness. It is the most common problem we help couples sort out. The consequences last far beyond those fleeting minutes of “pleasure.” With the epidemic of Sexually Transmitted Infections we currently have in the US, you are putting yourself at high risk for becoming infected. Not to mention the fact that try as may to call it “casual sex” there is nothing casual about being naked with someone and connecting at that level. It is not casual. There is a connection that is created over that shared experience. Good or bad, you will carry it with you for many, many years.
Stay the course
The guilt and remorse will rob you of your joy and happiness while also driving you apart from your partner. I have NEVER met anyone who has told me that being unfaithful while their husband was in prison was a good choice. Every single woman I have coached or instructed has deeply regretted it.
So, now that I have shared just a few of the thousand reasons to stay faithful (I WANT TO WRITE A BLOG ON THE 1000 REASONS TO STAY FAITHFUL), let me share with you HOW to do it. It is really simple once you start living like you are not available, you regain control of your life, your self-worth, and your time/energy. You will not have to constantly be in battle warding off unwanted advances. Your lifestyle will set the tone of honor, respect, and virtue. Yes, virtue. We call want to be known as a woman of virtue, not one full of vices.
Friendship offers the ability to share the secret, vulnerable things in our hearts with another person; and know that we can trust them to accept us. When we are faithful to others and demonstrate loyalty to them, we build the trust that helps the friendship to grow.
I am beyond grateful that I never cheated on Ron.
Here is HOW to do it—and it is just 3 things!
Places
People
Purpose
Places – Be mindful about where you are going. Is going to the bar to dance with a bunch of men who have had too much to drink a good idea? No, it is not. Staying away from places where your judgement could become clouded is important to your success. If you like to dance, then invite your good friends (ladies or family) over and turn up the music, go to weddings, quinceaneras, or other family-centered events. You will only find trouble at the bar.
People – Choose your friends wisely. Your friends should be people who support you in your decisions to build your family and your marriage stronger in spite prison. These people will hold you accountable, connect with for fun and laughter, and thus give you advice that helps you reach your goals. Who you are connecting to matters a lot!
Purpose – Ask yourself what your purpose is for every decision you make. Begin in your own closet. What is your purpose in wearing the skin tight little red dress that barely covers up your girls? If your husband isn’t there to enjoy the view, the show is closed. There is no reason to dress in seductive clothes when you are setting new boundaries in your life. The same question should be asked for every place or meeting you are considering attending. Why am I going? If it is to see another man, flirt with someone, meet someone, then do not go. Defining your purpose is a huge leap into your new legacy. Don’t dismiss it as silly or complicated.
Investing in your future health, happiness, and prosperity does require you to practice faithfulness in every area of your life—especially in your marriage.
I am rooting for you!
Cathy