Having a broken heart is one of the most painful experiences imaginable
There are so many reasons people experience a broken heart—but they all fall into one category, loss. That loss may be to death, prison, divorce, an affair, or another lie. The loss knocks the breath out of you and steals away your joy. Sometimes, it even robs you of all hope.
Having a broken heart is one of the most painful experiences imaginable. The pain and loss are suffocating. You wonder if the weight of the pain will ever leave you; if you will ever be able to laugh, smile, or enjoy life again.
Adapting to pain
One of the most frequent questions I get is, “How can I recover from a broken heart?” The most common advice from others is that time heals all wounds. But that is not true. Time alone does not heal the wounds. I have met many people who have carried a hurt around for decades. Time did not heal their wounds. Walking around with that pain became normal.
People have a way of adapting to pain that is not healthy. They mask their pain and try to keep living as if nothing had disrupted their lives. They convince themselves that it doesn’t really matter that they carry this brokenness in their hearts. But it does matter. Just like when a physical injury is ignored, our bodies will do their job and heal wound the best that they can. But if it is a break or deep cut, when things are not properly realigned, the body heals in an abnormal, or disfigured way.
The same is true when we ignore our broken heart and expect it to just heal on its own. It won’t heal properly. You will take that brokenness into all your relationships. So, it is important to understand how to heal your broken heart so you can move on and be healthy.
Three steps to heal
First, you have to Admit
Admit that your heart is broken and that you cannot keep living this way. Once you admit that living this way is not an option, you are ready to experience a breakthrough.
Now, I have to be honest with you here. The rest of the advice I am about to give you is all based on my faith. Without God, I have no idea how to help you experience healing from a broken heart. My faith in God is what gave me the hope, the courage, and the determination to keep going. If your heart is broken, just cry out to the One who is always there. He will carry you and comfort you as you walk the journey toward healing.
You cannot possibly live through a prison experience unaffected by it. The questions you should be asking are: “Do I have any power to determine the impact prison will have on me and my family?” and “How will it change me and my family?”
Now, I have to be honest with you here. The rest of the advice I am about to give you is all based on my faith. Without God, I have no idea how to help you experience healing from a broken heart. My faith in God is what gave me the hope, the courage, and the determination to keep going. If your heart is broken, just cry out to the One who is always there. He will carry you and comfort you as you walk the journey toward healing.
Next, you have to Decide
Decide you are ready for healing. Deciding you want to heal is the next big step. I have met many people who have grown so comfortable in their pain, that they don’t want to lay it down. Fear stops them from forgiving those who hurt them. They are so frightened that if they forgive, it will make them seem weak. So, they harden their hearts and bury the pain deeper. You may have dealt with heartbreak like this in the past. Don’t let this mind battle, that others will see you as weak, keep you from experiencing healing. Letting go, forgiving, and healing takes great strength. The choice is yours. You have to make the decision for your future legacy, and you will have to fight the battle of deciding to move past the pain every day until you conquer it.
Finally, Commit
Commit to overcoming. Overcoming heartbreak is a journey that begins with making it from minute to minute without thinking about the loss/pain. As you continue to make the decision to forgive and live, you will begin to notice that the period of time between thinking about the pain will grow longer and longer. You will never forget the loss. But that doesn’t mean that you have to live in agony every day for the rest of your life. When you say no to being miserable, you are also saying yes to allowing joy back in your life.
Why? This simple word can hold so much emotion and so much passion. It is the question we ask when we are seeking an answer to the extraordinary pain we encounter. But sometime in our journey, the “why?” changes from a desperate cry for help to a surrendered question of purpose.
It does take time to heal, but time alone will not heal your broken heart. In order to experience freedom, dream again, and live up to your fullest potential, you have to move beyond the pain. This journey will be challenging, but also so beautiful if you will trust the Lord to lead you.
I am rooting for you!
Cathy
2 Comments
kathy sherrill
What you stated is all easier said than done. I’m 70 years old was in a 13 yr relationship and puff he cheats on me. Never did I think he could have been a cheater. He found a rich widow ( i call her a male poacher-look it up-she knew he was taken) But he didn’t say no to her. He stated he loved me was still in love with me? How could that be when he was doing someone else? I am so hurt, sad, I cry all the time. Its been 30 days. He came and got some of his stuff today and I did not cry in front of him but when he left the tears came. I thought we were going to get old together and retire and travel so so sad. I should say he was younger than me by 8 years and physical fit. Looks about 55.. She is one year older than him and very rich.
Catherine Tijerina
Oh, Kathy, I am so sorry to hear of your pain and the betrayal of your trust. I know you already know this, but you are better off without someone who does not cherish your relationship and commit to partnership with you. Give yourself permission to grieve. It is completely normal to cry and grieve the loss of the life you had hoped to have with him. But, do not give up and do not let this moment define your future. Find a hobby or a place to volunteer to fill your time with positive activities that will help you rebuild your life.
I am rooting for you and praying for you-
Cathy
Comments are closed.