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How to Make a New Year’s Resolution When Your Husband is in Prison

new year resolution Ron and Catherine Tijerina

Happy New Decade! 

2020 is not just a new year, it is a new decade.  It is a brand new beginning of a brand new decade. This is the perfect time to take a good look at your dreams and goals and set your priorities.  This is especially important when your husband is in prison.  If you are not intentional about living your life, you will lose it to the pain of waiting for your husband to come home.  The beauty of your own life will crumble into regret and bitterness.  It is time to take stock of your life and make a lasting New Year’s resolution.

New Year's resolutions are often fleeting. 

I used to make resolutions that had nothing to do with achieving my dreams.  I had no “why” behind what I would write down to change in the coming new year.  Then, I would start off doing something different for a few weeks. Slowly, I would return to my established schedule and lifestyle.  My commitment to change was missing.  I lacked motivation because my goal was not connected to achieving a bigger dream.  

write new year resolution

While Ron was in prison, each new year brought grief and hope.  Grief over the passing of another year without Ron at home and hope as we stood at the beginning of a fresh new year.  Each new brought the hope that somehow Ron would be home that year.  After two years, I stood in my living-room after tucking my sons into bed. Discouragement flooded over me, and I then sank into the cushions of the couch. I sat there, crying for over an hour. Loneliness, fear, and sadness held me captive.  I looked at my reflection in the mirrors that lined the wall, and I was disgusted with my self-pity. 

I looked at my reflection in the eye and told myself, "Stop it!

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something to change your circumstances.”  I shocked myself when I heard my own voice.  I stopped crying and started praying.  I realized the despair I was feeling was because I was living my life in “waiting mode.”  Despair drove to me to fight to hold on until Ron came home.  This began to consume me so that I was not working toward any other goal. I had stopped dreaming, stopped living for anything other than Ron coming back.  I was waiting and trying to survive the nightmare of Ron being in prison. In the waiting I began to see I had to change my perspective and then begin to dream again.

Once I understood the importance of clearly defining my dreams, I began to set annual goals. These became my resolutions each year. Furthermore, I knew what I was working toward, what I wanted to achieve, and I had a plan to get there.  That consequently changed everything for me.  This resolve took me from viewing resolutions as traditions to seeing them as opportunities to do something great.  I woke up and saw the potential to create a better future by changing how I lived out my daily life. I started making resolutions I would keep.

You have an incredible opportunity to change your legacy.  This new decade is the perfect time to take a hard look at your life.  Are you living up to your potential?  Do you wake up ready to seize the day?  Does excitement fill you as you look to the future?  If your answers are all “No,” then it is time to change what you are doing.  Here is how to set New Year’s resolutions that you will keep:

  1. Write a list of what you want. Include material things as well as more critical things such as peace, joy, etc.
  2. Next, prioritize them.  What are the things you want most?
  3. Choose 4 things to work on this year
  4. For each of your top 4 things, write ONE thing you can do each day that will help you reach that goal.
  5. Mark your calendar for March 30th, June 30th, September 30th, December 30th. You will check your progress on your 4 goals on these dates. Furthermore ,this will keep you on track and help you stay focused on keeping your resolutions.

It is never too late to begin to dream again and set goals.  This decade is going to be the best one yet when you take control of your life and walk out your destiny.

I am rooting for you!