How to Kick Jealousy Out of Your Relationship
Jealousy can sneak up and create a snag in any relationship. You must guard your heart from jealousy to keep it from ruining the fabric of your marriage. It is a sneaky, disruptive thought that hijacks every interaction you will have with your man if you let it. You cannot let it steal from your time together.
Wikipedia defines jealousy this way: Jealousy generally refers to the thoughts or feelings of insecurity, fear, concern, and envy over relative lack of possessions, status or something of great personal value, particularly in reference to a comparator, a rival, or a competitor.
Jealousy defined
Jealousy can consist of one or more emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy[how?], helplessness or disgust. In its original meaning, jealousy is distinct from envy, though the two terms have popularly become synonymous in the English language, with jealousy now also taking on the definition originally used for envy alone.
There are a lot of things that can trigger jealousy in our minds. It is important to know how to manage jealous thoughts and the feelings that they trigger. Insecurity and fear will overthrow your best intentions if you let jealous thoughts run through your mind unchecked. Learning how to stop jealousy from coming between you and your husband is especially important when he is locked up.
How to stop jealousy in its tracks
There are 5 things you can do to stop jealousy from disrupting your relationship.
We dream of being supported, loved, admired, cherished, and respected by our partner. Fun, excitement, and adventure are all important to us as well. We want to be swept off our feet; but on our terms. Most likely, we are not getting everything we hope for from our relationship.
- Stop the mind battle. Ask yourself where the insecure thought came from. What triggered it? Why are you feeling concerned or afraid. Identify it and then retake control over your emotions. You do not need to be afraid.
- Confront the issue. Now that you have figured out what the root of that thought was, confront that issue. This means one of two things – either the issue is external or it is internal. If it was external, talk to your husband about what you are concerned about. Tell him what is bothering you; decide on a future action you can take together to avoid it from happening again. If it was internal, increase your self-awareness so you can regulate your thoughts by identifying the triggered a memory or insecurity so it doesn’t cloud your perception.
- Set boundaries. Talk with your husband then decide together what is best for your relationship. This is especially important with relationships or interactions with people of the opposite sex. Friendships with people from the opposite sex can be very disruptive to your marriage and create a lot of insecurity or jealousy. Defining boundaries together creates security and stability in your marriage.
- Don’t keep secrets. Whenever someone is keeping a secret from their spouse, suspicion rises and feeds jealousy. If you want your partner to trust you, be transparent. Besides, if you feel like you cannot tell your spouse about a friend you have, you should not be so friendly with that person. Don’t let your spouse hear a rumor from someone else. Be honest and then take the power to create division between you away from other people.
- Talk it though. Communication is HUGE. When one of you starts to feel insecure and jealous, talking about it is the first step to resolving the issue. If you ignore it, it will only grow and take over your entire relationship. Talking together gives each of you the opportunity to share your perspective. As you learn each other’s experiences, you will be able to resolve the issue together in a way that makes your relationship stronger.
Keep growing stronger together!
I am rooting for you-
Cathy