No child ever dreams that as a mother they would be taking her children to visit their father in prison. Making the decision to keep your kids connected to their father while he is in prison is tough. In fact, it is one of the hardest decisions you will have to make. It is also the right one for the majority of moms.
It is your job to make sure your children are prepared
Now that the hardest part of making the decision to take your kids to the prison is over, you have to prepare them for a prison visit. Certainly, visiting someone in prison can be a very scary ordeal—especially if you are not prepared for what you are about to experience. But it is your job to make sure your children are prepared for what they are about to see, hear, and do.
Preparing your children is a delicate task.
You want them to be ready for this experience, but you do not want to cause them added anxiety or stress. Follow this simple process to prepare your children for a prison visit:
- Tell your child the truth about where you are going. Lying just causes more pain in the end. “Daddy is in jail and we are going to visit him.”
- Explain that you will all have to go through security to make sure everyone is safe before you can see Daddy. “We will all have to walk through a metal doorway so they can make sure no one brings anything dangerous into the visiting room. Security guards do this at the airport, too!”
- Describe the visiting room to your children. Tell them about the tables and chairs, how to sit in the visiting room, if there is vending food available, and that there will be Corrections Officers in the room with you.
- Remind them that it is OK to be nervous, but they do not need to be frightened. You would never take them anywhere you knew was not safe.
- Remind them we will all be together.
- Plan one fun activity you can do together as a family during the visit. (see my blog post on games you can play in the Prison visiting room for ideas)
- Let them choose their outfit for the visit. Be mindful of the rules so you do not experience being turned away! To be safe, avoid shorts, sandals, sleeveless shirts, and short skirts. Modest clothing without any sayings on it is the safest.
Following this process will help to prepare your children for a prison visit. Remember, Mom, children are naturally resilient so if you calmly guide them, they will be fine. Chances are, they will enjoy the visit because they get to see their daddy!
I am rooting for you!
Cathy