Prison tears families apart.
It is a truth we must accept; but it is not a fate we must accept. You have the choice to let your family continue to fall apart, and you have the power to stop the crumbling and rebuild it.
There are few things in life that impact a family as much as someone going to prison. Incarceration robs millions of families of stability—and most families fall prey to the brokenness that follows. But it does NOT have to be the end of your family. You can stop the cycles of self-destruction and change the course for your family.
8 ways to save your family
There are eight things you can do right now that will stop your family from falling apart. If you want a better future for you and your children—you must do these 8 things right away. Don’t wait until your family has completely fallen apart to do something different. Do it now and change the course of your life by building a strong, thriving family in spite of prison.
Even if you think it might be too late, I promise you it is not too late. It is never too late to save your family. There are things you need to stop doing and things you need to start doing. Be intentional about reversing the damage done and you will be amazed to see your family’s resiliency shine.
Here are eight ways to stop your family from falling apart:
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Every family struggles. Yes, even healthy families struggle. The struggles of parenting and managing relationships are real. You have to know that just because you struggle doesn’t mean your family is falling apart. You are not alone in dealing with the complexities of managing your family. We have all had those days that everything seems like it is falling apart.
- Stop being critical. It is super easy to point out the things your children or husband do wrong when you are hurting. Being critical destroys peace, trust, as well as security in your home. By stopping just this one thing, you will notice a huge change in your family culture within just one week!
- Stop raising your voice. Yelling only creates more tension and activates the “fight, flight, freeze” instinct. In order to build healthy relationships, you must kick Yelling out of your family.
- Stop arguing. When you argue or disagree regularly, the tension wears down the best of intentions. Incessant arguing causes emotional fatigue, emotional distance, and emotional outbursts. It is a sure sign that there is a power struggle in your home. Stop the arguing by listening more, and talking less. You will learn a lot about what the other is going through from their viewpoint. Decide to make growing stronger more important than being right.
- Stop complaining. No one likes to spend time with someone who always finds something to complain about. It is annoying and builds resentment in your family. Deliberately avoid complaining about anything or anyone in front of your family. Follow grandma’s advice, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.”
- Start smiling. A genuine smile from our partner or parent helps to relieve stress and reduces tension. Smiling will also create more harmony and trust in your home. Relax and give yourself permission to be happy and then show it. When you’re happy and you know it—let others know it, too. You are unconsciously giving your family permission to smile and be happy as well. Joy in the midst of your trial will provide you with the strength you need to keep going.
- Start planning activities together. It is so true that the family that plays together, stays together. Creating memories together reduces stress, increases bonding, and builds strong family connections. The activities do not need to be expensive, but they do need to include everyone.
- Start sharing a meal together every day. Prepare the meal together, eat it together, and then clean up the mess together. All of these activities promote family-reliance that will help destroy the lie that you do not need each other. Use the time to catch up on each other’s schedules, friendships, and important events. Nothing reduces barriers between people like eating together.
- Start making new friends. Seek out friends who are investing in their own families. You will pick up tips from watching them interact, find support for your family, and teach your kids the importance of spending time with others who have a common goal.
These 8 tips will help you build resiliency in your family that will keep your family from falling apart. Do not get discouraged if you do not see a huge improvement right away. Just like watching your kids grow, just because you don’t notice the change right away doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. You are building a new legacy. The more you practice these tips, the more you are feeding a strong family for generations to come.
I am rooting for you!