A message to moms whose partner is in prison
Happy Mother’s Day, Warrior Moms! If your partner is in prison, this day brings sadness and pain with it as you celebrate yet another holiday with your man behind bars. It is not easy to celebrate yourself, but you certainly have something to celebrate. While you wonder if you can make it through the next day under the weight of all you are carrying, others are standing in awe of you.
You are inspiring others with your strength, resiliency, and persistence. When you look in the mirror, you see an exhausted mother barely getting by. Others see the warrior who takes on the world every day, overcoming every challenge with fierce determination. Mother’s Day is for YOU! Your courage to face every battle has left you scarred and spent many days. But you do not give up. Surrender is not an option.
You have faced social reproach, unfair judgment, and stinging prejudice.
You bravely stand in the gap for your family and work tirelessly to build a better life for your children as you navigate the prison experience with your man. The journey is harrowing, but you persevere because you see refuse to lose sight of your goals. You are a woman to be admired!
Do not let the grief of your husband’s imprisonment stop you from celebrating your accomplishments. If your children do not know how to honor you, then teach them. This is an opportunity to show your children how to celebrate others. As they learn to serve and honor you, they are learning the importance of healthy relationships.
Here are a few tips for you as you plan for your weekend celebration (and a break from all your hard work!):
- Resist the guilt. You are so accustomed to taking care of everyone else that taking a day off may bring feelings of guilt. Do not give in to the guilt. Indeed, you deserve to be celebrated!
- Teach your kids what to do. Have a family meeting and explain to them that you will be celebrating MOM this weekend. Give them a list of ways they can indeed honor you. Be sure to include things like breakfast in bed, flowers (dandelions are in abundance right now!), and set expectations of their best behavior.
- Set time aside to do something that rejuvenates you. Read, take a long bath, take a walk, watch your favorite TV show — whatever makes you feel spoiled and cared for, do it!
- Dance, skip or jump. Celebrate yourself with all of your being. You are terrific. Celebrate your fortitude in a big way. Indeed, you might be surprised how energized you feel after acknowledging your accomplishments as a Mother.
- Remember YOUR Mom. This is also her day. Find a unique way to let her know you appreciate her and all she has contributed to your life. If you don’t know how to make her feel special, ask her.
- Set aside time for you and your man to talk together uninterrupted. Encourage him to share the positive attributes he sees in you as a mom and a life partner. Enjoy and soak in the praise.
I am so proud of all you have accomplished. You are a soldier and a mom worth celebrating!
I am rooting for you!
Instead it will mean another day behind bars, separated from family, and struggling with feelings of isolation and guilt.
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