When I read a blog or article that echoes my own beliefs, I feel so affirmed! This is a great article on how to keep your kids safe—by not keeping them too safe. I love it! I watch so many parents overcompensate for the absence of the other parent by doing all these things that are actually causing their children more harm. It is so easy to fall into the trap of rescuing our children to keep them from experiencing any more pain than they already are. It is even easier to spoil them with things that we think will somehow reduce the loss they have experienced by dad being in prison.
I spent the first couple of years after Ron went to prison trying to give my sons every material thing I saw that others had. If another child had it, my sons were entitled to it as well. It was crazy!! I was constantly saving up for the next best thing. Holidays were ridiculous—I just never felt that it was enough.
I was looking to fill the void and ease their pain with things.
One day, a friend and mentor asked me why I was spending so much on my children when I was barely getting by. “You buy more for your kids than I ever thought of buying for mine, and we can afford it.” She boldly told me. Ouch! I was so challenged by her words. Why was I so intent on getting my sons whatever they wanted? As I thought about it, I realized what I was doing. I also realized that all the Legos, electronics, games…. STUFF in the world would never fill the void left by Daddy being in prison. My pride was causing me to dump stuff on them to prove that I could fix it. I wanted to make it better, but I knew I was really just creating distractions for them and pretending that stuff would make the hollow pain go away.
I am so glad my friend cared enough about us to tell me the truth.
Making it easier today, just makes it harder tomorrow. Raising our children to become healthy, responsible adults is hard work. The tips in this article will help you align your efforts to get the results you want for your children. Check out the article and let me know what your greatest challenge is!
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